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I try to time my jerk to hit Judy in the face while she is onscreen, but I’m too slow and I nail Bert the bailiff instead. It’s not my fault the mutt is dumb enough to stand that close to me, so I grab him and use him to clear the screen. Pat mutters something about lawyers on his way out to her job at Hooters. I doze off on the couch from such a rough morning. WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! What the fuck? I ask myself, when did Pat install a solid brass door knocker? Nothing worse than Tuesday morning Jehovah Witnesses, and I’ve had it up to here with them. The pellet gun I stole from my grandma looks just like a real .45, so I sling open the door and take a shot. Instead of white-shirted Jesus freaks running for their lives, Olga just winces and rubs her forehead. I think I made her angry. “Here for to clean da place.” she grunts. “please to tuck gonads in.” I grab my machinery with both hands and leverage it all back into my leopard print speedo. Olga is staring at what looks. Just for the money." I hoped she'dunderstand, and by the look on her face she seemed to."Well, you're very good at being a girl. I saw you a few times thisevening, and every time I thought, 'Wow, there's a future heart breaker!'You look SO pretty, and you carry yourself beautifully for someone soyoung."I shook my head. "No Natalie, I think YOU'RE the prettiest girl I've evermet. I could NEVER be like you!" Her eyes rolled as though she felt I'doverdone the compliment. Then I whispered, "And you saw through mydisguise, so I can't be that convincing." Oh no, if I didn't know you and your Mom, there's no way I would'veguessed you weren't a girl. And you have very sharp clothes! Where'd youget this elegant dress?" Oh, it was from Mrs. Taylor who owns the catering company I'm workingfor. Her daughter Julia's a friend of mine. They asked me if I wanted tocome work for them, and I couldn't pass up the chance to earn some decentmoney." Did they tell you you had to wear a dress to get the.
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